5 Things About the Pacific Northwest I Could Do Without

There are lots of great things to love about the Pacific Northwest. Unfortunately, these things aren't among them.

1. Wandering animals. I like to think I love animals as much as the next person, but traffic jams caused by bears who've been wandering around exit ramps on the one major interstate roadway is going a bit far, don't you think? And it's not only bears you have to worry about in the Pacific Northwest, but all kinds of critters who like to wander in from the forest for occasional visits. These animals include mountain lions, deer, even coyotes and wolves. Animal rights lovers will probably disagree with me, but I wish there were clearer lines of demarcation: you stay on your side of the evergreen tree, and I'll stay on mine.

2. Sexual predators. Turn on the six o'clock news, and nine times out of ten there will be a story about some sexual predator who has moved into the area and hasn't registered; or who has been caught hanging around the local public school; or who has been discovered coaching little league...the stories are seemingly endless. I've never quite been able to figure why this kind of activity occurs with such alarming frequency in the Pacific Northwest, but that seems to be the way things are. I guess Mary Kay Laterneaux wasn't an isolated incident after all, and even though it's not murder, it's still pretty creepy.

3. High cost of living. I never knew what a rambler was until I lived outside Olympia, Washington. Imagine an itty-bitty space on the inside, and a house that almost looks as if it's been stepped on on the outside. That's how I would define a rambler, which is the most typical type of housing you'll find in the Pacific Northwest. Oh, and did I mention the price? No? You wouldn't believe me if I told you, so I won't. It's not the worst in the United States-New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and maybe Portland are more expensive to live in, but the same kind of rule applies: what you're paying for in Seattle is location rather than aesthetics, so people who enjoy their space beware.