Mate Selection

Introduction

Human beings select their mates based on a variety of factors, some of which are conscious considerations and others subconscious. Despite a multitude of studies conducted in the area of mate selection in humans, concrete conclusions have yet to be drawn with regards to how people choose their life partners. However, the process of selection can be broken down into five distinct phases. Following is a brief outline of the mate selection process, from first meeting to an official show of commitment.

The Five Phases of Mate Selection and Their Progression

The first phase of mate selection is physical attraction. Studies have shown people decide within the first three seconds of meeting an individual if they are attracted to him or her on a physical level. This physical attraction, if reciprocated, may lead to conversation between the two. Research suggests that people know if they like someone or not within three minutes of talking with them, with body language being a more reliable indicator of mutual interest than the conversation itself.

Infatuation is the second phase. When two people have decided they like each other, this phase can manifest quickly, leaving each overwhelmed with feelings of excitement and anticipation. It is likely to compel the couple to further explore each other’s personality and other attributes.

Dating is the third and probably one of the longest phases of the mate selection process. Outings together help to determine if shared interests, common goals, and similar values exist between the couple. Even if vast differences in values or interests are discovered at this point, “chemistry” can keep a couple together. It is usually somewhere within this phase that one or both parties claim to fall in love with the other. It is also during this phase that the differences between men and women’s communication styles may cause problems, possibly leading to the end of the relationship.