Poseidon: A Flotilla of Action and Disaster

Ironically for a project based on the sheer size of its main story vehicle, Poseidon comes in at a short 90 minutes, barely meeting current norms for feature length films. This remains its primary shortcoming though also a blessing as in most other aspects it's a passable, if not even remotely brilliant, foray providing viewers with sufficient frills but nothing much to retain in the longer run.

A remake of 1972 disaster flick The Poseidon Adventure, Wolfgang Petersen's version lacks the sheer impact of its predecessor which, although no masterpiece in its own right, still heralded the onset of 70's calamity-vision in a way the modern retelling could never hope to repeat. 

There was also a made-for-TV edition a couple of years back but it seems few have had the pleasure of beholding it over this tight, $150 million gargantua. You'd be right to wonder where the money ended up considering they barely give out an hour and a half of movie, but then perhaps it would be enough to look at the totally Titanic-scuttling visuals to understand Poseidon's expense account devoted itself to plastics instead of content.

In true rollercoaster-ride fashion, little time is wasted on introducing characters, backstory or any other such trifling matter. Petersen charges ahead like Achilles lunging at the Trojan army, probably pushed along by the looming specter of rolling credits.

Enter a New Year's Eve ball aboard the world's premier cruise ship, or at least presumed premier going on size, grandeur and behemoth dining area. It's based upon real-world floating palace Queen Mary 2, with elaborate set designs and authentic-looking environments. Unfortunately, not enough time and space are devoted to exploring the ship and its voyage, with everything moving along too fast to linger on mood-building components.