5 Things About the South I Could Do Without

People can find annoying things about any place, and the South is no exception. Some of the less- than -appealing things about the South, or things I could do without, include:

1. Monster trucks. I have to admit it was pretty cool back in high school when I could hear my boyfriend coming to pick me up in his monster truck-a 1980 Chevrolet contraption with huge tires and the loudest muffler in the known world-from half a mile away, but I like to think I've grown a little more confident over the years. But imagine what it must be like for me today, driving around in my little fuel- efficient Honda hybrid surrounded by trucks people need ladders to get up into. It's a bit comical, really; and also a bit scary.

2. Hunting season. Come late October, it's not unusual to wake up on the weekends to the sound of gunfire in the near distance. The thought of it makes me cringe: sitting for hours at a time, stinking of urine (supposedly it attracts deer), wasting a perfectly good weekend in the middle of the woods staring out at nothing, waiting. And then there's that country tradition that involves a kind of weird ritual with blood smearing and group dancing over someone's first kill. It's all a bit on the crazy side of things if you ask me, but then again, I've never experienced the thrill of the hunt, and don't have any real desire to.

3. Summer heat. Southern heat is a bit different from other places. In Ohio, for example, it might get to be 90 degrees, but the heat index is also 90 degrees, maybe 91. In New Orleans, though, the actual temperature might be 89 degrees, but the heat index is 95 degrees, and the humidity is just darn oppressive, no matter what the actual number reads. And the hottest it ever gets is right after a hurricane, when there's not even a breeze to move the air. I'm starting to sweat just thinking about it.