A Fake Interview with Keanu Reeves: One on One with the World's Worst Living Actors

"I am arguably the worst actor alive today," Keanu Reeves says to me as we shake hands after meeting for the first time.

KJD: May I just call you "Keanu" for short?

Keanu: Oh, that's fine. I just wanted to get that out of the way right off the bat. You don't have to call me "the worst actor alive today" or anything. Unless you want to?

KJD: Maybe later.

My initial impression of Keanu Reeves after meeting him in person is that he's a man who possesses ample self awareness. The star of numerous blockbuster movies, Reeves realizes he is an awful actor. In fact, he's very forthcoming about it.

KJD: So, Keanu, I've been wanting to ask you this question for years - how the heck?? How do you keep getting work?

Keanu: I honestly don't know. Somehow, I keep getting roles in movie after movie. It just doesn't make any sense. Why do directors and producers keep casting me? Why do people keep going to movie theaters to watch me? Don't they realize I stink?

KJD: Hey, man, I'm with you. You're preaching to the choir. How did you get into acting? How on earth did that come about?

Keanu: I got into it on a dare.

KJD: Naturally.

Keanu: I assumed I wouldn't last very long. I knew I stunk and figured others would quickly see it, too. After my first audition, I walked out thinking, "yeah, I'll never hear from those people again." Incredibly, not only did I hear from them again, they offered me a role. I couldn't believe it. I actually asked the director, "you do realize I stink, right?" The director just looked at me and laughed. "You're so funny, Keanu."

KJD: The director was clearly disturbed.

Keanu: Tell me about it.

KJD: Did you assume it was a fluke?

Keanu: Of course. I was certain every movie since would be my last. Half way during the filming of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), I turned to Alex Winter, my co-star, and asked, "what are you going to do after we finish this movie? I was thinking about going to night school." Somehow, the movie turned out to be a huge hit.

KJD: Alex who?