Anna Benson for El Duque

A Fair Trade or a Raw Deal?

When the New York Mets traded away starting pitcher Jay Seo for reliever Duaner Sanchez, most fans were in agreement that it was a great move. Sanchez is a young arm with star potential and the Mets already had a deep starting staff. But fans started to scratch their heads when they dealt Kris Benson to the Orioles for underwhelming wild man Jorge Julio. Speculations began as to the true motives of the Mets management. Many fans wondered, were they trading away Benson (a decent pitcher, a nice guy to have on the team) or his model wife Anna (a horse-throated bombshell, known more for being Anna Benson than anything else).

Anna is hot. You've probably seen her in Maxim or FHM or Stuff or one of those faux-porno magazines that are pushed like rock candy on that all important demographic, males 18-34. She is a voluptuous beauty with large eyes and a southern voice that sounds like it crawled out of a dirty movie from 1979; the Major League Baseball equivalent of Tiger Woods' wife (only more vocal and with larger breasts). She also has a mouth on her, a mouth that can't be controlled.

Anna Benson's most infamous sound byte came a few years back when she said she would sleep with every single member of the New York Mets (bat boys included) if her husband ever cheated on her. It's unclear whether or not she made good on this promise when the couple momentarily divorced a couple months back; but there's no reason to believe that Kris cheated on her and they've since reconciled; so all seems well with the Benson family, currently of Baltimore.

But let's get back to baseball. The Mets fans were a little pissed, and rightfully so. Not only did they lose one of the anchors to their starting rotation, they lost Anna; and I'm sure every Met fan misses Anna Benson than they do her husband Kris' 4.62 career ERA.
Anna Benson was a lot of fun; too fun for GM Omar Minaya and owner Fred Wilpon. Though they'd never admit it, the move was more to get rid of the press hoar, side show Anna Benson than it was to get rid of the right arm of Kris.