The Wolverine Cure Fer Buckeye-itis
Go Blue !
By Alban Mehling, published Aug 22, 2007
Published Content: 391 Total Views: 81,651 Favorited By: 89 CPs
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I understand you have been infected with the dreaded disease commonly known as Buckeye-itis. As an educated man I'm sure you recognize the infectious disease control issues you must adhere to to maintain life. I will continue to send you Wolverine information in order to help you recover from this malady.The old wives tale of all Ohioans are Buckeyes is once again being circulated by the gossip mongers. Please inform all of your friends this is an illusion of epidemic portions. Ohio is only a suburb of Michigan. Ohio was created so Michigan wouldn't be larger than Texas and Alaska. The Community College from Columbus, Ohio (aka OSU) was a satellite operation of the great University of Michigan. Just as Martin Luther left all the Christian religions to form the Lutheran Church, the Bleeding Deacons of Southern Michigan (aka Ohio) have left the fold to form Ohio State University.
The Higher Power lives and breathes the ultra clean air in Wolverine State. This state was created in the image and likeness of heaven. The Buckeye was created as food for the Wolverine. It feeds the wild and vicious animal in ways that are unknown to mankind. Today it is considered poison by most but when fed to the warriors wearing the Maize and Blue it is stronger than any steroid. You can speak directly to the Higher Power since it's a local phone call.
We of the Wolverine persuasion know that you struggle with your Buckeye identity. We believe that with a bit of prayer the Higher Power will soon allow you to be healed and see the light. You must believe that Wolverine State is the true heaven we all seek. You must continue to sing "The Victors" at every available opportunity.
I know this is difficult for you to understand. Remember you have the Buckeye-itis it affects the brain. There are many small steps you need take before the Wolverine way of life will begin to enhance your brain. A short visit to the "Big House" will inspire you to trudge the road to happiness. Wearing of the colors of Maize and Blue close to your skin will help immensely. Eating the Buckeye candy will give you a fighting chance to feel like a Wolverine, strong and confident.
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Posted on 08/23/2007 at 12:08:00 PM