Exclusive Spider-Man 4 Details!

With Spider-Man 3 witting us out of our hard earned money in theaters all around the world and its timely release to DVD inbound, one could only assume that this rabid cash cow is far from being put down. Spider-Man 4 (tentatively subtitled "The Quest for Curly's Gold") is already in its preproduction stages. What can we expect from America's most endeared genetic spider-abomination? Thanks to an inside source, I've uncovered plenty of details.

1. More Coincidences
As Spider-Man 3 has shown us, coincidences are a quick and subtle way to move a story along without bothering with the limitations of plot development. At a pivotal point in the 4th movie (the beginning) we learn that Mary Jane was once roommates with "The Shocker," who in turn was also the bass player for Peter Parker's favorite band "Kansas," oh the tension! Seconds later, Its revealed that the bullet that killed Uncle Ben punctured a weak point in the very fabrics of time, simultaneously killing both Lincoln and Kennedy. Thus creating an alternate history in which Spider-Man must battle through hordes of CGI robots (Producers have promised us ahead of time that this scene will not look cool and will end just as it was about to get good, however)

2. More Villains
If Spider-Man 3 has taught us anything, its that more villains = more awesome! This time Spider-Man will out-do himself and battle every villain in the Marvel roster of villains and a few from the Sherlock Holmes roster. All of which are promised to have multiple seconds of screen time. Each will have a complex introduction consisting of them bursting from conveniently placed meteorites.