The Best Questions to Ask the Groom

I'm trying to remember what I was asked prior to marrying my wife. Of course there were the typical questions from my folks; "Are you sure this is the right girl?"; "Have you thought about where you'll live?"; "Can you afford it?"; "What are you going to do about school?" In fact, my wife's parents even asked me (and her) if we were moving too fast. I have to say that while questions from parents seem to be for the benefit of the child, they come across as self-serving. I began to resent the questions because I felt that they were really asking the questions either to reassure themselves, or, to try, one last time, to postpone the wedding; and, in one particular situation, I felt there was a desire for the marriage not to take place.

In reality, I didn't have many good answers to the practical questions which were being asked of me. I was working part-time, as was my wife, and, I was receiving the G.I. Bill as a result of going to school part-time. It was hardly a recipe for financial success. We were tired of having to leave each other every night. While moving in together was an option for some people, it wasn't for us, if for no other reason than we were both still at home; we simply wanted to be together.

The really good questions came from wife. As I have indicated elsewhere, that is where I feel questions, prior to the actual marriage, should come from; the soon-to be spouse.

My wife asked me if I thought I would be able to "stand her" over a lifetime. That question obviously was for her, but, you have the privilege of supporting her right from the start. The question carries more weight than you might expect. She knows you're going to "yes", what she wants to see is your reaction. Is it supportive; irritated; puzzled; she's finding out about you at the last minute.

My wife asked me if I was sure we would go to church together; she asked me if I was sure I wanted a big family, and, if I was sure I would be happy being around her "super-large" family. Also, she wanted to know if I would be comfortable staying in our hometown for at least the foreseeable future.