Understanding Codependence

Codependency is a behavioral pattern that robs individuals of their hopes, dreams, desires, and even needs. Codependents allow the behaviors and addictions of others to dictate their lives. Recognizing codependent behavior is the first step in overcoming it and regaining control of your own life.

Codependency is not recognized as a diagnosable disorder, according to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders. Codependence, according to the National Council on Codependence, refers to the present effect of events from our childhood on our attitude, thoughts, and behaviors. These effects are potentially destructive.

According to Dr. Daniel Ploskin, the following may be indicators of codependent behavior.

· Self-worth depends on external sources: acceptance, success, approval, etc.

· Other's needs, wants, and experiences come ahead of one's own.

· One doesn't trust their own decisions or experiences.

· Guilt, shame, and self degradation are daily occurrences.

· The mildest criticism causes extreme reactions of hurt feelings or suicidal thoughts.

· Fear of abandonment.

· Desire to change, with concurrent fear of change.

Indicators of codependency are common to most people at some point in their lives. However, the difference in a codependent and an individual experiencing a momentary life crisis is that a codependent lives in a constant state of appeasel and/or emotional turmoil in order to avoid confrontation.

According to Dr. Ploskin, the ear-mark of codependency is a relationship in which an individual or individuals live in a way that enables an addict in perpetuating their behavior. Codependence can occur in families, couples, or social groups.