My Job as a Domestic Violence Counselor

I've been working this past year as a Domestic Violence Counselor. It wasn't a job that I had expected to find myself doing. It sounds weird to say you "like" your job when you hear the stories and see the bruises and scars. But, in a strange way, it is a great job. You get to help people, be a calming influence while they are upset, and when you see someone do well, it's extremely satisfying.

A big part of what I do is listening to people's stories and not giving advice. A lot of people think if they come for counseling, they will get all the answers via their counselor's advice. This is not the case. Probably the worst thing I could do for a client is give them advice. This promotes co-dependency. Guidance is great, but not advice.

You'd be amazed at how quickly people can become dependent.

Also, it's important for people to make their own decisions. Sounds a bit obvious, doesn't it? Imagine being in a relationship consisting of verbal and/or physical abuse. Many times the abuser doesn't allow the person being abused to make any important decisions, sometimes they aren't allowed to make any decisions at all.

Now, do I want to come in, even with my good intentions and give directions and answers? What I try to do is lay out choices and help the client figure out which one works best for them given their particular situation.

Though counseling is a very large part of my job, another significant part is advocacy. Advocacy is when you speak on behalf of someone. Let's say you are trying to set up your house phone, which is need because you have an Order of Protection against your former spouse. This phone is essential for your safety. The phone company tells you it will take about two weeks, and no matter how you explain your true need for this phone, they shoot you down. That's where I come in.