Dr.Dethknell Assaults English

Generally medical professionals are said to be a bit lagging in the mastery of the English Language. Dr.Dethknell was no exception. He played with words and phrases without knowing the meanings and implications. Fluency was the essence of his speech and grammar and precision were convicts fit for exile. So he adhered to this practice . Let us see a few of his masterpieces.

During a voyage he met a foreigner Mr. Henry. They exchanged ideas and the conversion gravitated towards discussing the secret of health. Henry found Dethknell healthy and asked him the reason.

He replied:" See my friend, there is a secret. We people worship the cow, drink milk and discard its hides, skin, and bones, which we export, you import and eat. No wonder you are not as healthy as we are".

Henry: Thank you for enlightening me. I never knew it would be so damaging to a friend.

Dethknell: There is no question of damage. It is a question of managing your health.
The conversation ended.

***
A visitor came to Dethknell's home. He brought another friend with him. The conversation followed.

Visitor: Do you know this gentleman?

Dethknell: What do you mean? You are asking me. He is David. He is my family friend. We are all in the family way. In fact I married his daughter for him.

David: He means he settled my daughter's marriage by fixing a boy.
Visitor: O, I see. Now I have no fears.

***
Dethknell visited a friend and saw many newspapers in his living room. He asked his friend about his reading habits. He showed interest in reading newspapers and remarked,"Joseph, I don't mind if you spare the newspapers before reading them. Send them through your servant and ask him to collect after my reading. Of course, I know you don't expect any cost from me for this service."

***
He allocated work for his staff in the hospital. This covered doctors, nurses and attendants. At the end of the chart was an insertion, which read,

" To assist the doctor during his odd duty hours, a female nurse will be available for night purposes. One attendant will pull her up in case she falls asleep".