A Response to "Man Laws"

With all the "man laws" out there telling women what to get over and where to step off, I felt compelled to respond and add my two cents' worth to the gender war.

Man Laws:You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

When we need to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

Women feel the need to look their best even when going to the grocery store. Why? Because a woman wants to believe she's the most attractive thing her man has ever seen, even if it's not true. She wants your eyes on her, not roving over the "hottie" in the freezer section as you pray that she'll drop something and that she's not wearing a bra.

Man Laws:A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem - see a doctor.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

If you want to act like a slob, don't complain when she says she has a headache. It's hard to be in the mood after a day filled with your belching, farting, scratching, "come smell this" requests, and going #2 with the bathroom door open. After all, she takes the time to shower, shave her legs/other areas, brush her teeth, smell nice, and wear lingerie when she wants intimacy.

While we're on the subject of sex, pornographic videos are not how-to instructions. Porn is the National Enquirer of the movie business. It's fake, guys. Those women are acting. They get paid to pretend to enjoy those kinds of things.

Man Law: I AM in shape. Round is a shape.

Then how come the only "shapes" you see are tall and skinny with fake boobs?

Man Law: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox.

Men are NOT mind readers.

Every time you say "I wish I had a ____" or "That ____ is sweet!" she makes a mental note to find that item for your next birthday, anniversary, Christmas, or whatever. And she remembers, even if it's six months away. You don't have to be a mind reader- just listen to her the way she listens to you, and you will indeed know what she wants.

Man Law: If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong.