Why We Need Others: Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes

We are, by design, unable to see ourselves as others see us. Sometimes that doesn't matter - and sometimes, it does. Here are some examples of things we cannot possibly know about ourselves. We need others to let us know these (and many other) things - if we want to know them, that is. Do you want to know if:

1. You snore? It is literally impossible for a person who snores to know that about themselves unless someone else hears it and tells them. There are exceptions, of course, like snoring so ferociously so as to awaken one's self - but, more often than not, we can't know this without someone to tell us.

2. You have a bald spot developing on the top of your head? Most days, we don't get to see the top of our heads. Only someone else's eyes can alert us to this one - unless we happen to stumble, as I did, into the path of an overhead monitoring video camera in a bank, then glanced at a monitor and wondered who that guy with the bald spot was.. He was dressed lust like me. I was shocked.

3. You smell bad? This is a tough one. Most people are insensitive to their own odor, yet it may be emphatically noticeable and unpleasant to others. There is no easy way to tell someone this (bad breath is a closely related issue), but if you are going to know it, someone else who notices will have to tell you.

4. You are speaking too loudly (or too softly)? Most of us do not have the capacity to hear ourselves as others hear us. "Loud talkers", especially those who have been so for all of their lives, frequently are totally unaware that they are speaking more loudly than is necessary or too softly to be heard. Again, someone else will have to tell you if this is the case.

5. Your socks don't match? This one speaks for itself, especially for folks who have some trouble discriminating between very dark colors (navy blue and black, for example.)

6. How do you look from the back? How would you know if there was a stain or hole in the back of your shirt/blouse or pants? Why, some fearless person would have to tell you, of course.