Ok, I Submit! Now Please Pass the Kool-Aid

This is such an amazing article. You make excellent points and you back them up with scripture. Unfortunately, I have known a spiritual leader like this, and he ruined 4 plus months of my life by black-balling me from a volunteer group and literally putting me in front of a group of other volunteers (without ever having talked to me one on one) and talking about how horrible I was and how I was trying to ruin everyone else's experience by leaing 10 days early for a wedding. It was all based on gossip, the word of a woman who hadn't liked me from the beginning of my experience there because I "asked too many questions". She used things that I shared in our private group times to paint a picture of me as a rebel...and when asked her why she shared them with this crazy pastor, she was shocked that I would even ask. "Of course I told him, he's my mentor."

Of course I was referencing Jim Jones when I selected the title for this article. I was watching a program last night, "Most Evil" that profiled Jim Jones. It was quite interesting and it interviewed one of the few remaining survivors. He made it very clear that it was not mass suicide at Jonestown, but mass murder. He pointed out that babies and children do not commit suicide, but are murdered. How many false teachers are spiritually murdering their sheep every day? We have to be on guard because wolves in sheep clothes are not playing fun childish games, they are out to steal, kill, and destroy.

That is wonderful, SKSG I know how hard it is to go back after being hurt so badly. But there is nothing wrong with discussing feelings and sharing experiences. That is the first area attacked by spiritually abusive churches- the freedom to think, discern, weigh, judge,test, prove,assess, critique, reason, feel, experience, and come to our own conclusions. My American forefather's came to this country and paid for my right to "think" with their blood. No religious leader will ever take that right away from me.

Your comments along with the numerous others on this site is helping me to find the courage to look for a home church in the San Diego County area. We do not want to throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak. We love God, we love His church, His Word and His mandate to be a witness. This ordeal has hurt that witness. We knew God's word instructs us to pray, forgive, and trust God. This healing has been a process. You've helped us get through with integrity.

Thank you for providing this outlet to speak honestly about these very difficult issues. Since this thing happened to our family over three years ago, we have not been able to discuss this hurt in a safe place. Your transparency and compassion really touches my heart. I loved my church family and the break up has had many negative effects. I haven't been able to talk to anyone which has led to some real hard times. We are taught not to say anything. This is abusive to make the body keep this ugliness hidden in our souls.

Wow, SKSG! Your husband said it perfectly! "I am not coming against authority, I am coming to authority!" That says it all. They do need to listen, and like you and your husband found out, it seems that when they don't listen, it's because they have reasons they don't want to hear.

I admire your courage in stating all of the above. After observing numerous accounts of adultery, teenage and other out of wedlock pregnancies in our local church, my husband held a meeting with our senior pastor and four of his associate pastors. They all accused my husband of coming against authority. My husband said, "I am not coming against authority, I am coming to authority." He had not discussed his concerns with anyone else. Later, it was revealed that the senior pastor had an affair with one of the very same associate pastor's wife that attended the aforementioned meeting. Only the senior pastor and one of his other associate pastors remain today. You are right, they do need to LISTEN.