How Pornography Addiction Destroyed One Marriage

I have a friend who's name I won't mention out of respect for her privacy. Let's just call her "Jane." Jane's husband was addicted to pornography. And his addiction destroyed their marriage.

Unlike alcoholics and even drug addicts, porn addicts have very little support. For one thing, some insensitive person might refer to an alcoholic as a "drunk." But pornography addicts are simply labeled "perverts" by the vast majority of society. Yet this is in addiction and sickness like anything else. It's obsessive, compulsive and interferes with daily lives, relationships and costs money. And the addicted person gets the same "high" from viewing porn as a drug addict does by sticking a needle in his arm.

Unlike drugs and alcohol, however, sex is still pretty much a taboo subject. While I know many people who have talked openly about their spouses, loved ones or even their own alcohol or drug addiction, very few admit to talking about a pornography addiction. And since most pornography addicts are men (as most pornography is geared towards men) the spouse of the man addicted will often blame herself for her husband's porn addiction. She's not attractive enough anymore, so he has to get his kicks elsewhere.

Jane's story started out innocent enough. A few dirty movies now and then. Didn't bother her at first. Except when she realized that she and her husband never made love without them being played on the VCR. A few dirty magazines here and there. But it got to be a problem when she found his "stash" of hardcore magazines and some films he actually purchased. They were always tight on money, so he said. But he had the money for pornography. At first, she confronted her husband and he tossed out the offensive materials.

But then they, like most of the nation, got onto the Internet. They bought a computer for the family, kept it in the den, and allowed everyone to use it.

Sometimes Jane would go to bed early and her husband would stay up, watching TV. One night, she went downstairs and found him on the computer, viewing pornography. It upset her, but she didn't say anything. She was embarrassed and went to bed.