The Top 100 Most Non Metal Things Ever!

Being an expert on Heavy Metal music, I now present to you the top 100 most non metal things in existence. I searched to the far corners of the earth to bring you the top 100 most non metal things EVER. And here they are in no specific order, the top 100 most non metal things I have ever encountered in my life:

1. Wine (in a bag) in a box.
2. Man bags
3. Girl pants on men, wearing eye liner (aka emo boys)
4. Miniature or "pocket" dogs
5. Water crest sandwiches or anything wrapped in lettuce
6. "Bling" on anything (cell phones, watches, clothing etc)
7. Rhinestones plain and simple
8. Tie-dye clothing-sooo Dave Matthews Band...
9. Scrap booking
10. American Idol is definitely not metal
11. "Diet" anything (especially beer)
12. The color pink
13. Polo shirts or khaki pants
14. Pleather (wanna be leather often shiny and very cheap)
15. Knock knock jokes
16. Ant Farms or Sea Monkeys
17. "omg", "lol", "meh", "brb", "ttyl" or any other texting abbreviations
18. Pagers/beepers
19. 8 track players and portable tape players ie: bringing your "boombox" to the gym to "pump iron"
20. Spandex; under no circumstance is metal. It has not been metal for almost 30 years now. For the love of god burn them! PLEASE do not donate to goodwill, do yourself and the world a favor and destroy them.
21. Tandem bicycles
22. VW Beetles
23. Tribal and butterfly tattoos
24. Granny panties
25. Fuzzy seat covers
26. Knitting
27. Tea and crumpets
28. Asking to have your burger cut in half while dining out
29. Declining a beer chugging challenge. Metal people do not accept, then stop half way because the "beer was too cold" or too "warm" or in a can or in a bottle.......
30. Ice cream cakes although tasty they are not metal in any respect.
31. Peeps...nuff said
32. Man thongs
33. Loofahs
34. If your house has a "country theme"... NOT metal. This includes rooster statues, chicken napkin holders, and anything featuring cows
35. Using a coupon on a first date
36. Wicker furniture
37. Wine coolers
38. Spinner hub caps
39. Hamsters and most other small rodents with the exception of rats
40. Spongebob...in general. If you have anything Spongebob throw it out or give it to a 5 year old.
41. Still collecting Pokemon or Yu Gi Oh! Cards. Again, give them to a 5 year old
42. Pogs in 2007. Sorry dude it was cool but it's time to give it up.
43. Shaving your legs or waxing your eye brows (if you're a man).
44. Flannel, unless its pajamas
45. Techno, glow sticks and dancing while on E
46. Bubblegum flavored tooth paste
47. Veggie trays
48. Aqua Net
49. Peach facial scrubs
50. Tom Cruise, scientology and the kid that no one has seen
51. Baileys in your coffee, any drink with an umbrella and fruit involved with liquor in any way.
52. Top 40 music
53. Clove cigarettes
54. Sorbet/Sherbet
55. Dixie cups
56. Commodore 64
57. Lip gloss
58. Britney Spears
59. Granola (especially low fat)
60. Anything "ala mode"
61. Reality TV
62. Scotch tape
63. Buttons/pins claiming that you are indeed "metal". Ie: "I heart metal"
64. Eye shadow on men
65. Abercrombie
66. Fitch...F@ck em both
67. Sporks!!!!!!!!!
68. Hardcore dancing
69. Lollipops
70. Mullets
71. Doing the dishes
72. EXPENSIVE wine
73. Connect Four
74. Multi colored shoe laces
75. Breaking up through text, email, or fax
76. Tanning beds
77. Ear Muffs
78. Pasties
79. Atari
80. Tube socks
81. Taking your first date to a coffee shop or book store
82. Clothing for dogs
83. Sponge painting
84. Puppy calendars
85. Mosquitoes
86. Wet suits/scuba diving
87. Dandelions
88. Power rangers
89. Hello Kitty
90. Non specific Asian tattoos or random symbols
91. Rock gardens
92. Turtle neck clothing
93. Interior decorating
94. Pet names for people such as "cutie pie"
95. Mispronouncing common words like, coupon, - "que-pon", or theater - "thee-8-er"
96. Valley Girls
97. Yoga
98. Atkins diet
99. Going to the ballet
100. Plastic (if you made it this far, you get the joke)

These are the things I have found that are in no way shape or form metal. Avoid at all costs!
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