My Skin is Crawling Just Thinking About These Things.

So all of the things that have made it on to my top seven creepy list are not from television but I assumed that they would be searched for more frequently than some of the other items on my list. These are all things that no matter how much I grow and change still continue to creep me out just as intensely as the first time.

1. Barney

I know that I'm not alone on this one and purple, acutally, lavender, is my favorite color. Amethyst is my birthstone, I love this color. But on a giant purple dinosaur that slowly wobbles from side to side like some creepy stalker man that follows you in the night...There's the problem, he moves with the same rhythm as people from scary movies. When there's someone following another person during the night and you can't see the person. All that the audience knows is the rhythm with which the attacker is stomping in his boots behind the star before striking. This is Barney but in cartoon, big puppet form that I want to beat the crap out (simply out of fear) everytime that I'm confronted with his image.

2. Teletubbies

I find the teletubbies to be the exact creatures that you think you want to see when you're on acid but after five minutes they becoming overwhelming needy and you feel as if the're gigglging because the're going to eat you. That's why they dance around like crazy, over-stuffed, crack heads. This provides them with the distraction before they attack. Doesn't matter if one or all of them are gay, they're the perfect example of acid-induced cannibals and even the small amount that I've seen has traumatized me enough for a lifetime.

3. Floating Baby Heads

I still have no idea why any sane person would decide that it's a good idea to put baby heads inside of random objects where baby heads do not belong. I think it's completely sadistic. I nearly vomited the first time I saw them and how I wish I was exaggerating. On the subject of the floating baby heads, in lady bug bodies, and flowers, I prefer to pretend that it doesn't exist and when confronted with an image, I always do two things: look away and don't look back.

4. Nutcrackers