The Best All-Time Conan O'Brien Quotes

Conan O'Brien is the comedic host of the NBC talk show Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Like the format of most late night talk shows, Conan O'Brien opens with a monologue and is followed with celebrity interviews. His self-deprecating style of humor exhibited on the show is what I adore. But there are plenty of funny lines in his monologues as well. Here are some of the best Conan O'Brien quotes taken from his monologues:

"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'"

"Earlier today, President Bush spoke on the phone with the prime minister of Australia. When the prime minister told him it was tomorrow in Australia, Bush's head exploded."

"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."

"I'm not worried about things in the world because yesterday President Bush told reporters that he is monitoring the situation in North Korea, very carefully. In fact today the President spent the whole day watching reruns of M.A.S.H."

"After hearing the president's speech, Democrats in the Senate are seeking bipartisan support for a non-binding resolution opposing President Bush's deployment of his military escalation. In response, President Bush said, 'Huh?'"

"Republican presidential candidate Sam Brownback kicked off a 1,200-mile campaign trip through Iowa. Brownback said, 'I'm not gonna stop until I find someone who knows who the hell I am.'"

"Tonight on '20/20,' Barbara Walters interviewed the new King of Saudi Arabia about women's rights and Walters asked why the King doesn't let women drive cars. The King answered with two words: Lindsay Lohan."

"This week Disney opened its first ever theme park in China. More than ten thousand children showed up on opening day. And that was just to make the T-shirts."

"Yesterday at his confirmation hearing, Supreme Court nominee John Roberts said, 'Good lawyers can argue any side of a case.' Then Roberts said, 'No, they can't.'"