Gay Cartoon Characters: Dobson Outs Spongebob, Tinky Winky and More

So, we all know that Tinky Winky is gay, right? After all, he has that ridiculous upside-down triangle on his head and carries a "man purse." That's all the evidence we obviously need. Well, that, and whatever Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family tells us.

Now, Spongebob is also gay because he routinely holds hands with his friend, Patrick. This is the only evidence we need, too.

So, suddenly, every cartoon and children's show makes us gay. This is what my friend and I have figured so far.

Bert and Ernie live together. Superheros who wear capes or tights are obviously gay. Male characters with suns and flowers and other such pictures of happiness are obviously gay. These include the Care Bears and My Little Ponies. If they are "furry," male characters, they are obviously gay. If they are of a Japanese animation characters, well, they are obviously gay. If one or more male character lives together, they are obviously gay.

So, we've been trying to figure out, exactly what cartoons could "de-gay" us. We're obviously all gay because of these cartoons.

Of course, you see, even if you think of one, it also has to be clean morally.

We tried Scooby-Doo, but we obviously know that Shaggy and Scooby are always high on Scooby Snacks. Shaggy spends just a bit too much time with Scooby. And what exactly are Daphne and Freddy doing in that van?

We tried Smurfs, but we figure there had to be secret love affair between Smurfette, and I'm guessing Papa Smurf. But maybe it was another smurf who gave birth to Baby Smurf. Smurfette must obviously be the mother.

Oh, yeah, and cartoons obviously make you gay, too, if they are all colorful and full of rainbow-colored stuff. No male influence? That's gay, too.

So, what are cartoons that are not gay. . .or, at least give me the most stupid theories on why certain cartoons are gay.

We all know that James Dobson needs more fuel to add to his fire.