Why the Expectation of Social Conformity and Performance isn't for Everyone

My husband, well before we were married and during that period when he presumably should've been trying to court me, once called me the "peanut gallery." I didn't know what that meant but decided it couldn't be very nice and remember feeling a little offended. But now that I know what it means, I guess my husband knew me well then, and knows me even better today, when he not only still thinks I am the peanut gallery, but also thinks that I can't take nearly half as much as I dish out. (By the way, "peanut gallery," according to Wikipedia, means "an audience which heckles the performer.")

So I guess I have a propensity toward commentary. It's not a mean or mocking commentary, but a sort of reality-check type of thing, where I see people living life as if it's a grand performance and, in response, I feel the need to articulate - even if for no one but myself - the silliness of the performance.

I'm not sure how I became this way....this way of limited patience for frivolity and a knack for seeing the unreal. I remember telling a friend of mine back in high school that, as much as he'd like to think he was a rebel, his drinking, smoking, and other antics were conforming almost perfectly to society's image of the rebellious, indifferent teenager. Society tells you what you have to do to be a rebel, and then you conform to its image of rebellion. What a farce.

Performance breeds mediocrity. There's nothing unique or extraordinary about conforming to a script, whether it be in values or actions. The question isn't about predestination, since no one knows for what he or she is predestined and can therefore not conform to it. Nor is this a question about learning our morality from religious texts or even community social codes. It's about recognizing that we may in many ways be products of our environment, but that it is up to us to determine which elements of that environment will ultimately impact us and shape our character.