Wedding Story

Pink dresses. An outdoor wedding. Two knocked-up bridesmaids and a third who is trashed. Cloudy skies and predictions of rain. An evening wedding with only candles to serve as the lighting-source. A pianist (a sister) who failed to practice the music before the wedding so she punctuates each painful line of music with a variety of swear words. Raise your hand if you still want to have the traditional, princess wedding? After this story, you will be dialing 1-800-IFLYSWA and booking the Elvis chapel at Las Vegas with no regrets or remorse. Even your own mother will help you pack your bags.

Steve and Jenny met at a pool party and it was love after two or three beers, a make-out session in the pool, and a ride in his bad-boy Jeep. Their relationship followed the natural progression and game time ended when he proposed. Jenny swore she wanted a “simple” wedding which in female-speak means, “My parents aren’t as rich as the Hiltons so I want the Jessica Simpson wedding on a Wal-Mart budget.” 

No problem. Mom and Dad lived in a nice home and the yard was quite beautiful. Cousin Roberta worked at a flower shop and did beautiful arrangements. Mom sewed so she could handle the dresses. Sister Gail played the piano, so why hire a professional? A family of good cooks, so no caterer needed. Aunt Barbara and Cousins Jim and Mike sang and played the guitar—there’s the band! Next, Jenny went about doing the “little” details such as choosing her colors and choosing the dress patterns.