Single Mothers Guide to Parenting

Single parenting is difficult. There isn't anyone there to tell us we did a good job telling our son no, or making our daughter's tears into a smile with a little tickle to cheer her up. Becoming a parent isn't about recognition. It's about giving and having a part of us around. Being a family.

A family can be from 2 people on up. One parent and one child is indeed a family. It is up to the parent to make enjoyable holidays, birthday's, put band aids on the boo-boos, listen, and be consistent with discipline, all at the same time.

Does our child or children appreciate it? Maybe not right now but later on in life they will appreciate all we've done. They will remember that that their parent asked them their favorite part of the day. They will remember that their parent taught them how to say their prayers, be nice and share with others, be respectful of others, get to bed on time, have fun on a rainy day, and gave them time outs when it was needed.

Keeping structure is the most important issue for a child. Structure keeps them feeling secure.

Consistency with discipline is another. Mixed messages just tell our children that yes means no and vice versa.

Love. Not just telling them we love them but showing them. Taking time to watch them on their favorite video game, look at their homework, work on projects of any kind with them, and surprise them with little gifts for no reason at all.

Respect. Teaching our children respect will go far. Think of all the people we have heard say "My parent's raised me too...." That's because they remember and respect what we have taught them and how to respect others.

Family values. Teaching them that family is the most important thing. If we can help a family member we do it without complaint and never accept money for help. This goes for anyone that needs help but particularly for family.

Vision. Let your child have a dream, no matter how unrealistic, dreaming is the first part to achieving goals.

Lastly, somehow let go when it's time. We'll know when it's time. Our child has grown up, when it seems they were just born yesterday. Let go with love and bless them on their path to adulthood. For we were the mother and the father.