Introducing Your Same-Sex Love to the Family

When Diva flew to Texas to help me drive down to Florida to move in with her, my sister, Nikki, took me to the airport. I was very happy when she offered. I’d never been to the airport, and I was terrified of going. Nikki already knew Diva wasn’t just a friend…she was my girlfriend. See, Nikki was one of the few people in my family who knew I was bisexual, and found out so from me. I learned on the way to the airport that my mother would be at Nikki’s house and expected to be introduced. That made me nervous.

My mother was One Who Did Not Know. At least not from my lips. I was never as comfortable as Nikki when it came to discussing my sex life with our mother. I’ve contemplated it a lot lately, because my kids are getting to the age for the Sex Talk. I realized with a jolt that my mom never had the Sex Talk with me. My father did. My mom never even prepared me for my period. My dad did that too…after the fact, granted, but he helped make that one week per month a lot less stressful for me.

None of this occurred to me as I drove with Diva, my kids and a U-Haul to Nikki’s house. I discussed tactics with Diva, and she suggested no news was good news.

Once we arrived, I realized the whole gang was there. Not just my mom but my younger siblings, paternal twins -Bianca & Geri. The only one not present was my older brother & Nikki’s live-in beau. We hung out, took pictures, and chatted. Not once during the whole stay did I speak the words, “She’s my girlfriend,” in my mother’s hearing. I wanted to, but something just would not let me.

I was never really a closet-type. I lived out loud. Except when it came to my mom. I don’t know if I just didn’t want to hear the recriminations or if I was afraid she’d be angry or try to “save me from sin”. Either way, by the time we left, I still hadn’t clarified Diva’s place in my life to my mother.

In November 2004, I was hospitalized and received a blood transfusion. Nikki told me she would come to Florida if I needed her, and our mom wanted to come too.