Coping with a New Pregnancy After the Death of a Child

The loss of a child isn't just something that will go away. I had a miscarriage back in March of 2007, this was only one out of six miscarriages that I have had. This was hard on me and it never seems to make the pain go away, it only eases over time. I didn't tell very many people that I was pregnant until the day that I woke up from trying to have a miscarriage. Some people still congratulate me because they assume that I was still pregnant from that pregnancy. I didn't tell very many people that I had a miscarriage because I didn't know if I would be able to handle all of the people telling me how sorry that they were. This miscarriage was only the tip of the iceberg, I later found myself in a situation that I felt that I could not deal with. My six year old son died only two months after the miscarriage. How could life be so cruel?

I was due for my menstrual cycle to show it's ugly face, only a few days after he had died. I had a period that only lasted two days. I wasn't worried about this, I figured that it was from my nerves. The next month, I missed it completely. All though, I was probably being naive, I still blamed it on nerves. The third month showed and I finally went to the doctor to figure out what was going on. The doctor takes a look and says, your pregnant. I really can't tell you how I felt that day, it all seems to be a big blur. Was I happy, excited, upset, disappointed? I really can't tell you because I sat there staring at the wall and I am still having mixed emotions.

The next thing that crossed my mind was, am I trying to replace a child. No, I could never do that but what are other people going to think? It really doesn't matter what other people think because this is your life and you need to keep telling yourself this. I was not planning on this pregnancy and I am still going through all the mixed emotions over it. The way that I handle the situation of a new pregnancy after the death of a child is, to keep focused on the pregnancy. You are not trying to replace a child, you are only trying to raise another one.