Three Psychological Techniques for Staying Calm During a Temper Tantrum

The last time your toddler began to throw a caterwauling tempter-tantrum, you probably weren't thinking of the Psychology 101 book you studied in college. Indeed, if you were remembering any words at all, it was probably an article from Parenting or Child Magazine. These magazines provide great advice for what to do with your toddler when he or she starts to throw a tantrum, but as the child screams and shouts and accidentally hits you in the face, your own temper begins to rise and you are pressed with another immediate question: what should you do with yourself? Suddenly, Psych 101 becomes relevant again. There are three major schools of psychological thought that your textbook probably covered, and each one of them contains an invaluable tip that will help you survive your toddler's tantrums without having your own temper flare.

1. Start with a little Behavioral psychology. One of Behavioral psychology's tenets is that our emotions are strongly rooted in our bodies, and that we can affect our emotions by changing our bodies. To put this theory into practice, the next time your child starts to holler, force yourself to smile. I'm not talking about a small, stiff smile; I'm talking about a huge, cheese-eating grin. It doesn't matter if you feel fake or you think you look like a fool, because it will help you feel better. Smiling will immediately lower your blood pressure and release endorphins that help relieve both stress and pain (which may be handy if your child's flailing arms have whacked you in the nose again). A grin will make the situation less tense, and make you more able to do step 2.