How to Get Rid of Bed Bugs

(a personal account of the bed bug infestation that is now corrupting (too many) parts of the country, particularly NYC. )

When I first spotted a small black insect crawling happily along my pillow (I was currently sitting up, thank goodness), I didn’t really think twice about it. My window was slightly cracked open due to a poorly installed air conditioning unit so I just figured it came in from outside. Then about a month later I saw two more in the same area, near the pillows. I started to panic slightly, but brushed it off once again, wishful thinking leading me to dismiss it as a harmless species that just happened to sneak in from the cold every once in a while. But then the guy I was dating discovered an odd constellation of bite marks on his leg. Shortly after, I saw another bug. Then another one. And then finally after the fifth or sixth bug, each of which I might mention were coming in shorter intervals as time progressed, I started getting nervous. Something compelled me to look up bed bugs specifically online. I don’t think it was that I knew they were the culprit; I believe I just needed to compare bug descriptions and this was the only place I could think of to start. But the second that web page came up, conveniently being probably the only page on the internet that shows an animated bedbug feeding on blood live and in action, I almost choked as my throat grew tight. It was almost confirmed. This miniature roach like thing on my screen, this nasty shit brown creature that was slowly turning an amber red as it feasted on its poor host looked identical to these things crawling around my bed. I freaked out before checking elsewhere around my bed. I tend to avoid confrontation at all costs; instead I try to skirt around issues so that once I have to face the cold hard facts I’m extremely prepared. I also jump to conclusions quite rapidly. So without another thought, I immediately called my friend and great figure of support, David. The conversation was disastrous.