Introducing Your Same Sex Partner to Your Family

Introducing your same sex partner to your family can be one of the most stressful times in your life, but it doesn’t have to be. While there may be no getting around some uncomfortable moments, there are ways to minimize the tense situations and make everyone feel much more at ease.

First, if you haven’t already, you should discuss your sexuality with your family before introducing them to your significant other. This is especially important if you at all think they will react negatively or with shock. You don’t want to complicate the discussion by introducing them to your partner right away, especially since this could lead to a confrontation between your family and your partner. Getting your family comfortable with your sexual orientation beforehand will make the introductions go much smoother.

Once you’ve come out to your family and you feel the time is right, you need to plan where, when, and how you will introduce your partner. Do you want to meet at a public place, or should you invite your family over? Do you want to include a distraction of some sort (a play, concert, etc.), or would it be better to have plenty of time to talk? It all depends on how you think your family will react.

Take your cues from how your coming out talk went. If your family reacted in anger or seems uncomfortable with your orientation, consider meeting them at a restaurant. While the impulse may be to invite your family to your home so you can deal with them on your terms, neutral territory often makes people feel like they aren’t being ambushed or forced into a situation. Also, being in public will make everyone stay on his or her best behavior. Likewise, planning to attend an event will build in a time limit, which may provide a helpful distraction.