How to Write a Personal Ad, and How Not To!

Long gone are the days when men sauntered up to girls in bars with the line "Hey Baby, What's your sign?" In fact, in a recent survey, more people had found their significant lover online in some sort of electronic personal ad, than ever before. Sites like Plentyoffish.com, E-harmony, and others have dominated the dating scene. In fact, today's modern day equivalent of the astrological interrogation in a bar has been reduced to going into a chat room to be inundated by guys asking "ASL?" (Age? Sex? Location?) In truth what he wants to know is, "Are you old enough to $%#@, are you the gender I seek to $%#@, and are you close enough to $%#@?" I usually just answer "No" . Then I find my "ignore" button and move on. I have precious little time for men who can't take the time to say something interesting upon assaulting me with their existence. I have however, frequented a number of online dating sites, and you would be amazed for what passes as a personal ad. In most cases, the ads simply scream at you to stay away. I hope the following will help you to avoid the major pitfalls.

Ladies, (and yes, I have left the guys out. Let's face it. I lost them with the word assaulted) don't say things in your personal ad like "Looking for a normal guy" or "Where are all of the good men?" or "Is honesty so hard to find?" or "I like to laugh and have fun with my friends" , "No baggage" or "must not be married". Pay attention. Those phrases, among others, throw up red flags like a May Day Parade in Moscow! If you use one of those phrases, this is what you have really said:

"Looking for a normal guy"- "I would like a burping, farting, lying, cheating guy who prefers sports over spending time with me, is emotionally unavailable, and has a permanent kink in his neck from swinging his head around every time a girl with nicer legs than mine walks by.