Friendster, MySpace and Facebook- Oh My!

What's with all these self promoting, networking websites. Friendster, MySpace and Facebook are the most famous ones; it's really just another form of masturbation.

Let me tell you what I mean by masturbation.

These sites are so fucking self serving. They offer nothing in terms of progressing society's mental evolution. In short, they make us stupider. 

But with all that said; I fucking love them. I actually love anything that is completely unnecessary and self serving (like full service gas stations). Personally, I use MySpace; but let me give you a rundown on all three websites (because I'm cool like that):

Friendster

Ah, Friendster, the first of the masturbation sites; but is it the best? No. I know very little about Friendster, other than it functions (exactly?) like MySpace. I visited the site (out of a researcher's obligation caused by the writing of this article) and found that it looked exactly like MySpace. I once knew a guy who seemed like a homosexual (and acted like a serial killer) who used Friendster. I always asked him how it worked and if anyone could become a member. He kept telling me that the government was going to shut it down soon and that I shouldn't even waste my time. I've never felt so small in my entire life; seriously.

MySpace

I champion MySpace because, well, I have a MySpace page. I'm not terribly psycho about it (like a lot of people I know). Sometimes I go like three days without checking it. I mostly like to put the strangest music I can find on my page; shit that really freaks people out. This is actually the best feature that MySpace has to offer; I often like to look at people's profiles just to see what song they have (people with no song aren't worth knowing). The last three songs I've used are Anal Cunt's "Steroid Guy", Brian Eno's "Mellow Shinda Shima" and Sifl and Olly's "Dude's House".