Workplace Pessimism

"I have a hard time looking at myself, let alone other people."

I hate people. It does not matter what kind of people, I pretty much hate them all. When it comes down to it, people are stupid. They are arrogant, idiotic, pompous, presumptuous, judgmental, lazy, dirty beings. People live under this false pretense that they actually matter in life. Sure, they may be important in their small world, but not in mine. There are very few people in this world that I actually care about or am impressed by.

Am I an angry person? No, I am just a realist. I refuse to mislead you to think you actually mean something to me, nor do I need you to try to humor me. I'm not important - I get it! I am perfectly content with not mattering in your world. Ideally, I would prefer it.

"Sometimes I think the reason I don't get along with anyone else is because I'm superior. Then I think to myself, "What's so great about me?"

To further support my hatred of people, we will begin with the story of a woman we will call "C" - as in the "C" word. "C" is a member of the ever-important inner circle. "C", like all the rest of the world, has fooled herself into thinking she is important. I can help but think to myself, really??

"C" was invited to attend a party, which was essentially a celebration of the haves verses the have nots. So, there "C" was, all 5 feet of her, walking around the reception, as is she were a high roller at the casinos. She was walking around wearing a brown fur jacket (animal killer), with a matching fur hat. She looked like a rabid squirrel.

Adhering to the political correctness of our society, I said "Hello C."

She replied, "I'm sorry I don't know your name."

I could not help but think to myself - Are you kidding me you little troll? Not only have I interacted with you for over three years, but I see you every month at various meetings. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. Oh, and by the way, nice hat.

"When people talk to me, I usually nod my head and agree with whatever they are saying. If they continue to talk, I then say, "Are you still talking to me, horse face?"