Big Brother 8: Can Zach Wrest the Title from the Evil Donatos?

In the blast furnace known as the American Southwest of which western Arkansas borders on, it is so hot in July, August, and sometimes September that venturing outside, even at night can take your breath away. I don't mean in a good way, like a ride at Silver Dollar City or a young boy's first glance at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, it can literally take your breath away, sap your strength and make you hum the Green Day song "Wake me up when September ends". Which brings me to a particular guilty pleasure of my wife and I, a vice, if you will. CBS's Big Brother series, which always starts shortly after Independence Day and ends in mid-September sort of fills the time waiting for the temperature outside to dip below 90 or higher.

Initially, we had a hard time getting interested in Big Brother 8, finding no player worthy of rooting for.

There was stuck on herself Jen with her "Jensa" shirt and some other irritating play on her name which I've forgotten.

There was the conniving munchkin "America's Player" Eric, who had all the angles and wound up finding a few curves in fellow housemate Jessica.

There was the whining "Valley Girl" Daniele, who seemed to have something against all the other players and appeared to think she was better than the others.

There was the obnoxiously egotistical Dustin , a gay man that would have Senator Larry Craig holding his water and taking his chances on the mens room on the plane. Not that the Senator is gay, you understand.

Then there was Joe, Dustin's former boyfriend who some of the houseguests swore was even worse than Dustin.

There was Nick, supposedly a former pro football player. Turns out he played in some semi-pro league in Finland or somewhere.

There were a couple of other guys, Mike and Zach, neither of whom figured to get anywhere, the rich socialite Kail, the dimwitted Amber who was constantly crying about anything and everything when she wasn't dreaming of modeling. Face it, Amber, you're chances are only slightly better than those of Rosie O'Donnell.

I know I'm leaving one or two out, they obviously didn't have much impact.