New Jersey Law Update: Live with Full Service Gas or Die

I live in New Jersey; one of just two states in this great nation that does not allow self service at gas stations (Oregon is the other). What does that mean exactly (and I have to ask this; I've met plenty of southerners who don't understand the concept of full service)?

There is an actual law that prohibits New Jersey drivers from pumping their own gas. Gas stations in New Jersey (and Oregon; I've never been but my diligent team of researchers tell me they are the other- New Jersey's celestial sister of the northwest, if you will) have people who we call "gas station attendants". I don't want to come off as racist, but most of these people are Hindu or Muslim (only 30% of them are nice; I'm nothing if not a stereotypist [or stereotyper, I guess there isn't a word for one who stereotypes- I think there should be]). Sometimes, if you catch them on a good day, they will wash your windshield like a bum in New York (I never know if you're supposed to tip them for this).

All in all, it's one of the Garden State's greatest perks.

Or is it?

Some say this law is archaic; others claim it promotes laziness. It's true that I didn't pump gasoline until I was 19 years old; and even then I was forced to do it by my college friends in South Carolina. I found myself holding the nozzle of that pump and staring at that confusing machine; they might've well as asked to dissemble an atomic bomb.

Senator Gerry Cardinale wants this to stop; he doesn't want the privileged youths of New Jersey getting laughed at for not knowing how a gas pump works. And before I comment on that; I'd like to first offer some general thoughts on New Jersey Senator Gerry Cardinale.

I had never heard of this man until I watched a snippet of the Daily Show last night on Comedy Central (and I hardly ever watch the Daily Show). This fact is telling for two points. One, if I did (at least) watch the Daily Show I would (at least) have a clue about the most basic political facts; and, secondly, I am a fairly out of touch nincompoop.