Is Your Heart Achy Breaky?

They say you never forget your first Love or your first lover. Well, you also never forget a horrific heartbreak. For me it was the one that came before my husband finally showed up.

I was 41. I was too old to be such a fool and too old to ever attract another man. I was too old to be starting all over again - financially, too. I was terrified of being alone. Physically and emotionally I was a wreck.

Today, happily, I can't relive the pain but I recall the dry sobs, the cheerless days, drinking alone, chain smoking and lying awake at night. I remember the fatigue and how I limped through the minutes, hours and weeks that came after he moved out. I was attached to my pain and detached from everything else in life. Is that how a ghost feels?

I've come a long way since then. Today I am 47. I married "the one," the perfect man for me on November 19th. Noway could I have imagined then that I would be loved or love again.

I hope that some of what I learned can help ease you through your heartbreak recovery.

First of all, don't rush to "get over it." Hearts can't be rushed. Feelings don't come with expiration dates. Take your life one day, one hour at a time.

Secondly, don't try to dull your heartache with pills, alcohol, food or sex with "Mr. Right Now." This just gives you more to clean up later. Two wrongs can equal something worse. Instead, be gentle with yourself and enjoy your alone time.

Now, here are some easy-does-it tips to help you feel better physically and emotionally. Feeling better in your skin eases the heart and soul recovery ahead.

Broken Hearts Need Sleep, Supplements and Comfort:

Sleep more, sleep better and sleep in whenever possible. Quality sleep can be hard to come by when you've been shocked by the loss of a love. How it happened doesn't matter to the heart -- a loss is a loss. Is your mind whirling at night second guessing, trying to figure our "Why?" and "What went wrong?" Or is anxiety, shame or fear of being alone waking you up and keeping you up?