Hot to Squash Scientology Like a Little Bug

If you read my captivating article "NASCAR & Scientology: The Perfect Marriage of Stupidness", then you'd know that I am not a big fan of Scientology. But let me make something clear; it's not that I hate Scientology; I hate any religion that is based on aliens and founded by failed science fiction writers. It just happens that Scientology is the only religion (of that nature) that is endorsed by Tom Cruise. So, I have to hate it the most; I don't really have a choice.

I don't really want to squash Scientology like a little bug; I want to blow it up like the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. That is to say; I want to figuratively destroy it through some grassroots, online sarcasm. Are you feeling this?

Here's what you (civilian, friend) can do to squash the marketing monolith with the ministerial mask that is known as Scientology.

Step One: Ignore the Factions

What does that mean? You have to ignore everything and anything that is related to Scientology. If your friend or colleague comes up to you (maybe at the water cooler) and says, "hey can you believe what Tom Cruise said about Scientology last night on Barbara Walters?" Don't panic, just say no and change the subject. If this person presses the issue then punch him/her in the face (preferably breaking their nose). I realize this seems harsh, but it's not. You have to let the world know that you aren't going to engage in any conversation involving scientology (even one that's making fun of the stupid religion). As the saying goes, any publicity is good publicity but publicity that is completely ignored isn't really publicity at all especially if you punch people in the face who didn't ignore it in the first place.

Step Two: Celebrate Yourself