The Room Mates

(MARK is sitting on couch playing around with a bra. JACK enters the apartment, coming home early from work. MARK puts the bra underneath his bottom)

JACK
Hey man, I got off early--

MARK
--Uh, shit, you're home early.

JACK
Yeah...what are you doing?

MARK
Nothingâ€"
(Shifting to make sure the bra is out of sight)

JACK
What? What the hell is that?

MARK
What?

JACK
That...your sitting on...
(JACK pulls on a strap of the bra)
This...what is this? It looks like a--

MARK
--It's not what it looks like…it's not…
(JACK continues to pull on the bra, and MARK tries hard to keep sitting on it)
No…don't Jack. Please. Just let it…Let it GO.

JACK
AH-HA, Marky wears a...wait a second…dude, where'd ya get this? This looks like...Candace...

MARK
I found it.

JACK
You found it? Where? On my girlfriend?

MARK
No. Asshole...in a drawer...

JACK
A drawer? You mean MY drawer!

MARK
Whatever--

JACK
--That's my personal shit. Man…You go through my shit? God…I have videos, and personal--

MARK
--Yeah, man, the one from last Friday…whoa…I mean, no words...just woah--

JACK
--Your sick! I can't believe you watch…wait…seriously…you thought the videos were good?

MARK
Hell yeah, dude…Candace is…wow--

JACK
Yeah, yeah, I know Candace is fine, but what about me dude? I'm camera worthy right? And what did you think about the angle, you know, the quality and shit?

MARK
Man, never seen anything like it…it was…brilliant...but there was just one thing--

JACK
What? Was it the lighting? Or this fucking bra…I thought it lookedâ€"

MARK
Dude, that's what I was trying to figure out…here…I played with it some…see, I tightened it up…here. I think it might make her boobsâ€"