Third Date Pressure

Progression of Dates

Sadly, even dating has become formulaic in many respects. After you meet someone and agree to go out together, the first few dates you go on are supposed to follow a pattern.

The first date involves trying to impress each other in a subliminal, resume-writing sort of way. You’ll both go out of your way to look extra nice and be squeaky-clean. You’ll demonstrate financial well being by arguing over the tab at a nicer place than you usually go, and you’ll try to convince each other of your respective attractiveness and confidence. You’ll watch your manners and go through the courtship rituals of holding doors and over-tipping your server. Your conversation will revolve around what you each do for a living, where you grew up, your families, and your hobbies. Much like at a job interview, you get extra points for volunteerism and community service. If the first date goes well (and it will unless one of you has a major personality flaw), you’ll go home floating on clouds and anxiously awaiting the next date.

The second date is the make-it-or-break-it date. Sure, you’ll still look nice, but you might not spend two hours getting ready for this one. Likewise, you won’t be so guarded when it comes to what you talk about. You may delve into personal political or religious beliefs, which opens up the possibility for disagreement. If one or both of you has skeletons in the closet, the second date might be when they come out. Previous run-ins with the law, stalker exes, and hefty child support payments are all examples of things you didn’t necessarily want to know about your date. As magical as the second date isn’t compared to the first, this is the one that really helps you examine whether or not the person you’re eating dinner with is someone you want in your life. If you make it through the second date still pretty happy with each other, it’s time to start thinking about the dreaded third date.