The Girl in the Mosh Pit: My Run-in with a Sexist at the ProgPower Metal Concert

There is a metal festival I attend every year called ProgPower, which is a two-day event featuring power metal and progressive metal bands. Needless to say, there are few other women there, and even then, I'm used to being even more set apart as I typically wear band T-shirts and jeans instead of tightly-laced corsets and leather boots with six-inch heels. I love to jump into the mosh pit with the boys and go out for a smoke between sets.

After a particularly exhilarating set during ProgPower VII, I stepped outside of the venue and realized that I was out of cigarettes. I glanced up and spotted a group of guys lighting up and approached them, asking for a bum.

The guy in the middle was holding a pack of Marlboro reds. He eyeballed me and said, "Well. If I said I had a pack of these in one hand," and he indicated the reds, "and a pack of Virginia Slims in the other hand, which one would you . . . be more inclined to pick?"

The others chuckled. I grinned and said the first thing that popped in my head.

"I'd say, 'Give me the cowboy killers, then!'"

His eyes sort of widened and he laughed and handed the cigarette over.

This was my first personal experience with sexism among my fellow metal heads. To be honest, I was genuinely surprised, and, though I was pleased that I stuck up for myself, quite let down by the whole thing. I look sort of young for my age, and I suppose he must have thought that I was underage and trying to look cool.

The hidden message behind his words is excruciatingly clear. Because I'm a "girl," Marlboro reds would be too "harsh" for me, and I'd jump at the given the opportunity to bum a light Virginia Slim. Perhaps he was trying to make me falter or meekly slink away from his condescension. I couldn't help but wonder if he also thought I didn't belong at the show, or that I was some teenager who was there to see the token gothic band.