How to Cast a Spell to Find Your Soul Mate

Want to know how to cast a spell to find out if your significant other is really your soul mate?* To paraphrase Sally Struthers, "Sure, we all do." (Well, not me, since I've known who my soul mate is since October 20, 1984.) Okay here's what you will need to cast a spell to find your soul mate.

Rose oil, dropper, and burner.

Apple and knife.

Metal bowl.

A candle.

It has been said that, oddly enough, the very best day on which to cast this spell is a Friday the 13^th. If you can't wait for the next one, any old Friday will do. If you absolutely must find out upon reading this and it's already Saturday, it will still probably work. To begin: Get the dropper and suck up four drops of the rose oil, then fire up that burner. Find yourself a nice chair-wood is best, wicker is fine, a recliner should be avoided-and place the metal bowl between your spread-eagled feet. Light up the candle and wait until the sweet aroma of rose oil permeates the room. The candle should be placed within your line of vision. (By the way, make sure you've turned off the television and stereo.) Quietudinous contemplative is the ambience for which you are aiming. Those who have successfully engaged in this particular spell cast have something in common: the ones who do it during a rainstorm have a much higher rate of success.