Should Christian Couples Use Role-Playing During Sex?

My husband and I have been in the ministry for over 25 years now and the topic of Christians and good sex is one that rarely seems to be addressed in the church. I don't know why it's not discussed more seeing that God speaks very openly about sex in the Bible. Unfortunately, most
 Christians are afraid they will be damned to hell if they even bring up the subject.

After conducting hundreds of counseling sessions over the years we have found that a large number of Christians don't take the time to find out what God has to say about an issue. They base their ideas about life and love on what Grandma's great aunt told her years ago. Humans are creatures of habit and are usually afraid to take a stand against old traditions. You should always make up your own mind about what is best for you and your family. Remember, God says you need to be fully persuaded about the disputable issues (Romans 14:5).

Here are a few things to consider when deciding if fantasy and role-playing are right for you as a couple:

Be informed. Read Hebrews 13:4a, The Song of Solomon, Proverbs 5:18-19, Proverbs 23:7, and Romans 14:23, just to name a few. There are also several good Christian sites that deal with the topic. Google it!

Does it violate your convictions? If either of you have a problem with it, don't do it.

Is it legal? Obviously a big consideration for anyone; Christian or not.

Does it cause you to be more passionate with each other? Most couples we have counseled in the church have a problem with intimacy and passion. They feel guilty being honest about their desires and needs. If it helps you to have a more intimate relationship then it is a good thing. God makes it clear he wants married couples to have a strong intimate relationship with each other.

Does it cause you to miss your mate more when you are apart? If you can't wait to get home to be with your mate then things are going in the right direction!

Does it stir up your relationship with God? It has been our experience that Christian couples who have a passionate sex life are also more passionate about their relationship with God. This is why the devil attempts to bring division in the bedroom.

Related information
  • Sex is a big deal even if the church attempts to play it down.
  • Most couples we have counseled have a problem with intimacy and passion.
  • You will have to make up your own mind about what is right for you.
 
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Interesting topic Kim. You're right this is one subject I haven't heard about in a sermon yet. Very informative.

Posted on 11/10/2008 at 12:11:22 PM

Kim, this was a good article. I just wrote an article on Romancing Your Spouse: Mild to Wild Ideas and envision it as a series of articles and even a book.

Posted on 11/09/2008 at 9:11:16 PM

Excellent coverage on this topic for Christian couples.

Posted on 10/30/2008 at 8:10:35 PM

WOW Great topic! Took some courage though.

Posted on 06/03/2008 at 8:06:15 PM

What fabulous tips and reasons. I am sure this helped a lot of people. I thought this was very interesting.

Posted on 05/10/2008 at 6:05:18 PM

Another great article. I think not only Christians have a problem with this, also other religions as well. Am posting this for you. Hugs Mary

Posted on 02/28/2008 at 3:02:19 PM

Great article.. Thanks.. This is something I want to study up on more.. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction..

Posted on 02/22/2008 at 6:02:20 AM

Great article. I do think that the interpretation of religion does more harm than good when it comes to sex. Some religious folks are so terrified of being perverse in God's eyes that they reject their natural, human urges.

Posted on 02/12/2008 at 6:02:55 AM

Hi Kim, I can't possibly add another favorite because of time issues; quite frankly, I'm maxed out. Still, whenever another CP is gracious enough to comment on my content I will return the interest. This is certainly a hot topic, and I commend you on your courage because it could have easily backfired on you--I'm glad it didn't. Very interesting read. *****

Posted on 02/07/2008 at 11:02:32 AM

I've always thought it would be a personal decision if it brings partners closer to each other, it's good - like you said . . . and as long as it also brings them closer to God.

Posted on 02/06/2008 at 7:02:08 PM

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