Listening is the Secret to Building Relationships

Listening seems to be a lost art. It should be so easy; close your mouth and pay attention to what the other person is saying. If we all agree on the importance of good communication, why are so many people lacking in such an important practice as listening.

Whether in business or in our private lives, listening is a critical part of building successful relationships. Fortunately, learning to listen is a skill that can be developed with a little effort.

The Communication Process

Many people tend to put all of the responsibility for good communication on the speaker. In reality, the speaker is only one-half of the process. While it is the speaker's responsibility to try to relay the message as clearly as possible, it is the listener's responsibility to make sure they truly understand the message.

In order to understand fully what is being communicated, it is important to focus on what is being said, actively listen, and to listen with an open mind. If things are unclear, you need to ask questions until you do understand.

Increasing you concentration

One key to improving your ability to listen is to stay focused on the speaker. Too often, our attention drifts when someone is speaking to us. We notice things around us, we watch people walking by, or we just allow our minds to drift. Once our attention leaves the person speaking, we're no longer able to fully hear and comprehend what the person is saying to us.

Experts agree that practicing active listening is the best way to increase your ability to stay focused on the person speaking. As you listen, form a couple of open-ended questions in your mind. As you are listening, look for answers to your questions.

Another good practice for active listening is to stop what you're doing and make eye contact with the speaker. Resist the urge to allow your eyes to scan the room. Put down whatever you're working on. Stop checking emails. Look at the person doing the talking, and really pay attention to what they are saying.

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