New Monopoly Game with Electronic Banker Promotes Math Laziness

In this day and age people are becoming more and more lazy. Everybody expects everything instantly.

If your email takes eight minutes to load then you're going to complain. Even though it could be worse. At one point in time people would wait a whole week or longer to get mail! I have friends who go out to eat and order a grilled cheese sandwich. A grilled cheese sandwich! It takes like five minutes to make a grilled cheese sandwich!

People can even go to the grocery store and buy peanut butter and jelly in one container. After all it takes too much time to get out two knives, spread peanut butter and jelly separately and then wash two knives.

Now even Monopoly is teaching people to be lazier. There is a new version of Monopoly with an electronic banker. That's right, there is no money. Each player gets a credit card instead. When they have to make a payment or are paid money the player hands their credit card over to the banker. The banker then uses an electronic bank to read the card and perform the payments and transfers.

So now we don't want our kids to have to take five minutes to make a sandwich, we don't want our kids to get exercise in school and we don't want our kids to do simple math that almost always involves numbers that are divisible by five. Isn't that the whole point of Monopoly? To learn how to count money? That's basically all there is to do.

Besides it being lazy, uneducational and boring it is also sacrilege! No money in Monopoly? How am I going to steal a few extra dollars when the banker isn't looking? When you're locked in a five-hour game of Monopoly at 3 am in the morning what are you going to throw up in the air in frustration? When the game is over what are you going to throw on the ground and roll around in? Rolling on an electronic bank machine isn't going to feel very good.

What are they going to do next to shorten board games? Maybe Mouse Trap will just have a traditional mousetrap instead of the other little gadgets. Maybe Battleship will have a bomb option where you can blow up everything on an entire row. Maybe in Operation they'll add an option to just amputate so you don't have to worry about those pesky operations.