Substitute Teaching - An Underrated Profession

Remember when you were in third grade? Think back to the day your strict, mean homeroom teacher, Mrs. Hesselburger, was out for the day. You recieved the news of this from your principal. Like the rest of your classmates, you said to yourself (and sometimes out loud)--"Yippee! We got a sub today!" Translated into adult English, that means today is party day. Today is our fun day. Our day to brainstorm and think of ways to torture the poor hapless guest teacher who takes over our room today. In the words of one obscure '70s pop record--"it's a super, super do-nothin' day."

So you and your friends proceed to get together in a huddle and map out a plan of action, of how you are going to inflict your wrath on this unfortunate individual. You decide to place honey on his chair so that when he sits down, he cannot get back up to write your name on the board if you misbehave. Or when he or she tries to quiet you down, you start barking like a dog at the top of your lungs, and screaming so loudly down the hall so as to break eight times the amount of glasses the late Ella Fitzgerald shattered when she sung in the classic 1970s cassette tape commercial. But by the time anyone figures out whether it was live or Memorex, the principal arrives, assessing the damage. Then he or she sends the sub home with a message to not let the wind blow too hard on his or her derriere on the way out the door!

Or you and your friends elect to try something even more vicious, yes, far more conniving. You and a friend run down to the principal's office crying, swearing on your grandmother's grave that the substitute teacher touched you, or swore at you, or something of that nature. Of course, that is something that could cost the poor man or woman his or her job. But you don't care about that, do you, my fine little angels? You just wanted to do Mr. or Ms. Sub in for not letting you do the things you know Mrs. Hesselburger wouldn't let you do anyway.