Free Yourself from a Toxic Friendship: Life After Dumping a Friend

The phone rang minutes after I returned from picking up the kids from school. Now the display on my cordless phone read 1:24.01; she has been ranting for nearly an hour and a half. I reluctantly put the warm and sweaty phone back to my ear and continued the parade of obligatory "um, huh" and oh, really," for what seemed like another 30 minutes. I mentioned I was cooking at the start of this call, yet she continued with blow-by-blow commentary of a fight with her latest "flavor of month." The phone nearly jumped from my hand when her voice screeched, demanding to know if I had been listening. I was both embarrassed and frustrated that more of our conversations were starting to end in this manner. I responded simply, well.......

Friendship can be a warm and tender learning experience. Yet there are times when the word friend conjures up less pleasant thoughts. Instead of being supportive and reliable, this pseudo friend is clingy and insecure. She is in constant need of your approval or your advice on the latest never ending parade of crises in her life. You are a stranger to her because you exist only as a sounding board for the drama that contaminates everything around her. This warped caricature of a friend exists in the lives of many.

Toxicity
The word toxic refers to a contaminant, a life threatening poison. By definition the words toxic and friendship are polar opposites; making the dynamics of a toxic friendship more difficult to navigate. Toxicity within a friendship is demonstrated when one party constantly takes from the relationship while rarely having anything of substance to offer. This faux friend is one who leaves you emotionally spent, clings to you for dear life, is financially manipulative, untrustworthy or abuses your time. Perhaps you are in the middle of a tug of war with this person and other components of your life. Work, family, other friends and quiet time are sworn enemies of a toxic friend. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you could be involved in a toxic friendship.