How to Discuss Sex with Your Teen

As we have progressed in to the 21st century, sexuality has invariably become a centripetal aspect of the American lifestyle. We see it everywhere from magazines to cinema; from billboards to soda commercials. Why is it then that we can not explain this blatant concept to our children?

First off, I must confess that my question was quite unfair. As Americans, we have been split between the sexual repressive upbringings of the Church and generations since past, and the lenience of modern-day society. Because of this, it is common for parents to simply wave the white flag and let the media and school system teach their children about human sexuality.

This form of logical is not only wrong, but can be very damaging. In our patriarchal society, women are taught to be sexy but modest; to be ditsy but interesting. All of our roll models for children portray sexuality in the most horrific form: women clad in skimpy outfits, expensive jewelry and makeup, and slinking about to gain the attention of their male counterparts. The men, of course, are always the real center of the scene, which is usually shown by being encompassed with female bodies, all eager to give themselves to him.

Is this the way you want your children to perceive their rolls as teens and adults? I think not.

The best place to start isn't with a "birds and the bees" speech. The best place to start is while they are young. If you tell your child from an early age that they can come to you with anything and that you will receive it with an open mind, they may even come to you. While this obviously isn't the case with most families, here is how I suggest to go about initiating the conversation:

Pick a date or time when you know that neither of you will be busy. Please remember to not make the situation seem scrutinizing. If someone feels as if they are being interrogated or judged, they will clam up and never talk to you. Some do this by initiating the conversation during a game or activity, some during a car ride home from the grocery store. Whatever method you chose, make sure that your child is comfortable and ready to talk; don't try to force anything out of them.