Keep the Ring or Return It?

What to Do when the Engagement Ends

When a couple becomes engaged, there is so much love and hope. It is just assumed that a marriage will take place, and the couple will embark upon a life together. However, sometimes that is not at all what happens. For a multitude of reasons, engagements are called off, and there are many things which need to be addressed from how to break the news to family and friends; canceling wedding and reception plans; getting back deposit money; and what to do with the engagement ring.

Tradition!

Traditionally, if the man called off the engagement the ring remained with the woman, and if the woman called off the engagement the ring was returned to the man. It was an unspoken rule that 'cheating' and other such inappropriate behavior by either partner constituted them 'calling off the engagement' by virtue of their behavior.

However, these traditional views have been replaced, and couples are battling over the ring to the point of going to court in order to determine legal possession of it. Factors such as fault, cost, and intent (condition) are all being considered as courts across the nation make rulings on this emotionally-charged issue.

The Rules of Engagement

In 1999, a Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that regardless of who called off the engagement, the ring must be returned to the donor. Critics of this ruling argue that it will encourage a nonchalant attitude regarding the whole proposal and broken engagement process. If the traditional way was enforced, they argue, donors would be less likely to make casual proposals and to break off engagements for minor reasons.

In September of 2007, an appellate decision in another case made by a Tennessee court followed suit with the Pennsylvania ruling, stating that an engagement ring was given conditionally, and therefore if the condition (marriage) was not met, the ring was to be returned to the donor regardless of 'fault' or who called off the engagement.

But, even the courts cannot agree upon what is the right way to handle possession of the ring in the case of a broken engagement. DivorceSource.com cites the following: