What Relationship Promise Have You Made?

"What promise?" you say. You promise something at the beginning of every relationship you start and that's the very reason many relationships do not survive. This fact is applicable to any chosen relationship. By "chosen" I mean relationships outside of the ones you were born into, i.e. family. Unfortunately, for the most part, our families are stuck with us and vice-versaJ.

You've met a new guy or lady. Ah, luscious and invigorating beginnings. You now, the old folks used to say, "To know how a thing will end, look at the beginning." All is well now-in the beginning-but that could change on a dime if you don't keep your promise. To coin another saying from our elders, "Don't start it if you can't keep it up."

Here are some examples of promises people make at the beginning of our romantic relationships:

I promise that I love myself enough to be physically fit by exercising regularly and eating adequate amounts of fruits and vegetables and drinking lots of water. You make this promise when you renew your gym membership or restart your walking program because you are motivated by the attention of a new or potential suitor.

You break this promise when you fall off the wagon, have that second piece of chocolate cake and then one day decide "I don't feel like going to the gym today" or "It's so humid out; I'll walk/run my 2 miles,." And then before you know it, your clothes begin to fit snug and you're tired all the time. And then, an even worst case scenario - your body advances 2 dress or pant sizes.

I promise that I will always be available to nurture you, listen to your problems and help you solve your problems.

You break this promise when you consciously or subconsciously realize that you can't even nurture yourself or your household because you are too tired-mentally, physically or spiritually-and you decide you need some nurturing yourself. You wonder who's going to listen to my problems and even more importantly, who's going to help me solve my problems.

I promise that I'll always be interested in the same recreational pursuits that you are interested in. And, to top it off, I'll always mesh with your family and your friends.