How to Get Beyond Your Shy Self and Gain Confidence

Tips for High School, College and Beyond

You sit in the back of the classroom or the boardroom. You hesitate to raise you hand in class, even though you have questions and good ones. You don’t run for school offices or speak loudly in the cafeteria. You have your small group of friends – the same friends you’ve hung out with for years. 

Whether you are a budding teenager or an urban professional, if any of these descriptions fits you, then you are in a shell. And if you want to be more, to be noticed, and to be everything you are cracked up to be, then it’s time to break out. Your life will be happier and more successful from a personal and professional standpoint if you get out there and start living it now. 

Don’t wait until your promotion or your graduation or whatever milestone. Start right now. 

Here are some tips on how to do this based on your stage in life: 

In high school and beyond: 

-  do something out of character and don’t look back. For instance, join a group you would have normally not like the drama club, newspaper staff or soccer team. When you feel those butterflies in your stomach and the flush in your face, ignore it and keep going. 

- speak up. Push through the fear paralysis and raise your hand in class to ask that burning question. And if you hear snickers or other unkind responses from your peers, instead of shrinking in your seat, shoot them a harsh look to let them know you mean business. 

- swallow your fear. When that feeling – you know the one, the sick stomach, the stiff muscles, the lost voice – starts to arise, swallow hard, take two deep breaths and do whatever it is you fear anyway. Repeat to yourself “I can do this” and don’t worry what your peers think. The more confidence you display when doing it, the more respect you will garner from them. (And don’t worry if the confidence is just a show at first, you will be feeling better once you know how people respond to your confidence).