Teaching Your Child Responsibility and Personal Accountability

As parents, we would all like to see our children develop into independent, responsible individuals. To ensure that your child has the best possible start, responsibility development must begin in the home. Perhaps you have already established a set of rules that your entire family abides by, or maybe you have created a list of chores with your child. What do you do when your child misbehaves and continually makes excuses for his/her actions? There are a few ways that you can counter this cycle.

First of all, recognize when your child is doing well. Reward your child for accepting responsibility for his/her behavior. Possible rewards include verbal praise, hugs, kisses, and letting your child have a friend over.

Carefully consider your child’s age before expecting your child to be completely honest about his/her behavior. Do you best not to compare your child to other children his/her age, as children learn responsibility in their own way, at different times and at different ages.

Be conscious of your own behavior, and set a good example for your child to follow. Be honest about your own behavior and do not make excuses.

When your child makes excuses for a behavior, calmly confront him/her with the facts. Encourage an open and honest line of communication between everyone in your home.

Do not make your child fearful of telling the truth even though you will not be happy about the behavior. Make sure your child understands that you will be supportive and understanding in any situation, they need to feel safe coming to you, even when they are wrong.

Make sure your child knows what is expected of him/her at all times.

If contracts work with your child, sit down and create one. You and your child can write out what is expected of him/her. Allow your child to decorate and color the contract, then display it in his/her room.

Make certain that your child sees the relationship between his/her behavior and the consequences which follow.

Do not cause your child to have to make excuses for hi/her behavior by giving your child something too difficult to do.