Online Romances: Intense and Cautious

Had an online, romantic relationship lately? Then you're probably someone who experiences intense emotions but is also highly cautious. You respond more to your lover's online words than their physical appearance, maybe you've already had an extramarital affair, and you're not getting the emotional support that you want from your friends and family.

That's the conclusion of a recent study by two researchers at the University of Wisconsin_Whitewater. Professors Susan M. Wildermuth and Sally Vogl_Bauer examined the online communications of people in romantic relationships via the Internet and published their results in the latest issue of the Southern Communication Journal.

The two researchers used Internet postings to identify people to participate in the project. They asked the 202 volunteers who responded to fill out a questionnaire and provide a detailed narrative of their online relationship.

Most (74 percent) said they met their online lover in a chat room, while a mutual online friend (16%) was the second most common connection. And nearly a third (32 percent) were carrying on the online relationship while already married or in a regular relationship with someone else.

Wildermuth and Vogl-Bauer found five consistent themes in the online narratives. First was the ability of the Internet "to elicit intense emotional reactions, both positive and negative." They narratives detailed strong expressions of love, passion and attraction, including one person who wrote, "Our love is so strong, I can place my hand on the keyboard and feel his love flowing through each key."

Many volunteers also reported that the online connection was so strong that physical attraction was irrelevant. "We've talked so long that we are past the point where looks actually matter," one said. "I fell in love with the person inside and not the physical part," another wrote.